Saturday, October 11, 2008

Another Sonnet

Here's another sonnet I have written. The meter and rhyme scheme are right, but the phrasing seems off. What do you think?

Atonement - A Sonnet to My King
By Jonathan D. Eller

The Master summons me. What shall I do?
For I am in no state to meet the King.
‘Cause I am marred by sin without and through,
And next to Him I’m such a filthy thing.
My sins are numerous as ocean sands:
For other lords I’ve served in vanity,
And bowed myself to gods made by my hands;
I’ve stolen, lied, and despised family;
I’ve blasphemed, hated, been consumed by greed;
I’ve lusted after women not my wife;
And Sabbaths have I worked to meet my need.
A sinner I have been for all my life.
The Master shakes His head and calls again.
"The Lamb has made atonement for your sin."

October 11, 2008

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Jonathan, I think your sonnets are beautiful. This one reads very well to me, but that's just one humble opinion. Keep up the good work!
P.S. Love the pics on the blog!

Jonathan said...

Thank you so much! I have been very pleased with them - especially considering that I have never successfully written one before a month or two ago. I can attest to direct divine intervention on more than one. (God is a much better writer than I am!) I am really glad they are blessing you. I always figured I had a book in me, but I never thought it would be a book of poetry! Take care. I hope to talk to you soon.